My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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