epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize