Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
