But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
