Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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