I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
