she woke up with a sticky ear
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
