my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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