My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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