Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
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