i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
