Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
