pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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