she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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