coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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