Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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