Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with