And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
