so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
