but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Randomize
