im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Randomize