is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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