Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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