drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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