well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.