I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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