I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.