he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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