My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I wish life had little blips of pornography
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
