Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
