im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize