Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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