I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
