Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
