She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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