i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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