I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize