Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
