Sry I called you an 8
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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