would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
