I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
