If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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