And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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