I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
