i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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