Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
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I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
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Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
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