that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
