That's when you crack a 10am beer
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
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