It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
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