dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
