You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
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All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
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Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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