What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
