I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
