No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
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The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
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I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'm bleeding and have questions
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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