did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize